Home > Happy Holidays Fun, The Monday Musings Column > holiday humour for Easter in the dime novel style

holiday humour for Easter in the dime novel style

The silence stretched between them and her patience was near to snapping; why could he not just say something? It had been almost three hours now since she had unleashed a torrent of venom in his direction and it had taken most of that time before she began to accept that she had been wrong to react in the way that she had. Hell, he was just a man and she had known enough of them to know what to expect when you criticised them; sulking and silence.

Sooner or later she would have to take the initiative and speak. She knew he probably wouldn’t break the silence and risk her wrath again. Why couldn’t men just understand what was important and what wasn’t? How could they all be so dense? She looked away as the resentment began to boil inside her again.

He risked a glance from the corner of his eye and saw that she had turned away from him. Women; they came in all shapes and sizes, but when you looked past that assortment what did you get? Just another dame. Sweat dripped from his forehead as the hot, tired air closed around them; there could be no respite from it yet and the heat of their bodies just made things worse. He knew that he had acted like a jerk when they met; He had known that before his mouth had finished uttering the words that his brain had formed, but the apology never made it out; it was gunned down by her response.

He knew what would come next. Sooner or later she would say that they needed to talk. Talking sensibly was OK, but shout some more, no. All he needed was three words, but he knew that he might have to use five and then it could be over, and not a moment too soon for him.

The silence dragged on, but if verbal communication was missing the non-verbal posturing spoke volumes. She plucked at her blouse as sweat began to trickle into places where she would rather it didn’t. The tension between them was palpable. Sooner or later one of them had to make a move.

In the end they spoke together; “We..” she said as he said “It..” You first” he said.

“We have to talk”

“Somehow I knew you’d say that”

“OK, but I have to know where we stand. Not knowing is killing me” She could feel tears of rage preparing to moisten her eyes, but fought them back. She knew that he would take them for something else and get defensive. “I need you to be honest with me; can’t you see that that’s important?”

Their eyes met and he nodded. “Sure, I can see that you need that. Deserve it even”. He looked down at his hands, unable to hold her gaze.

“So where do we stand? Tonight, tomorrow? What’s going to happen to us?” Her voice was almost a wail now and she just wanted to hit him.

They were close now, too close, way too close even. Their eyes locked and something passed between them, something neither had seen coming. It moved and the lift doors opened; “Sorry about that” said the man wearing lift engineer overalls and brandishing a flat steel bar, “I hope I didn’t poke you with my jemmy. I got here as soon as I could”, he said looking at his watch, “Bang on the 4 hour call out” he went on, “and a good job too. Another twenty minutes and I’d have been finished for the day; you’d have been stuck here all over Easter”.

Author’s Note: I seem to have a bit of a lift fixation as we had a holiday humour  lift saga at Christmas (to be continued), but co-incidentally I was stuck in a lift on my recent trip to China. It was the first time I had been stuck in a lift for 35 years or so, but I have had the problem many times prior to that. Anyway, I hope you have enjoyed my little short story; back to the gritty world of business next week.

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  1. April 21, 2014 at 8:08 am

    I was waiting for the business tip at the end! Excellent writing.

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